Friday, November 14, 2008

Falling into a new life

As we approached election day I found myself constantly thinking, "This is their first. . . " fill in the blank. It could be Andres and Maria's first time to go to the pumpkin patch, the first time all three kids played in the leaves together, the first time they went Trick or Treating. It was something different every week. (And I have more pictures than one can ever develop to prove it!)  Since I last wrote, not only have they experienced all of these "firsts" but more--the first time they met their great grandma from Iowa, the first time they experienced what they believe is COLD weather (boy are they in for a rude awakening!), the first time they experienced a presidential election. I'm overwhelmed by it and I'm sure they must be as well. But they are such troopers and have dealt with everything seamlessly with no issues. They exemplify a whole new, deeper meaning to resilience, and we love watching their personalities develop and mesh with Luke's. It's just a blast to be together.

I continue to realize how much life has changed for Luke and how well he is doing. Please forgive me, as I know I say it almost every blog, but I am so proud of him! I think it really hit me the other day when our morning surpassed hectic, and I hastily sent him off to school without a jacket on a 45 degree day! I was upset about it all day. When I was a mother of one, I NEVER would have done that! A mother of three, well, if I can remember where each kid needs to go on any given day, it is a miracle.  I'm not complaining. I love the chaos. But I can only imagine how much Luke misses when things were a little calmer and more organized. A time, when he was it and all energy was focused on him. There is no doubt in my mind that he does miss that one-on-one time. At the same time, he doesn't demand it. He has been so accepting and supportive throughout all of the changes. At times, he clearly dealt with it better than I did while we were in Colombia. I have also begun to experience a deepening relationship with him. I find that he is constantly watching out for me and checking to make sure that I am ok. He is developing into a wonderful young man of which I am so proud to call my son!

While I am incredibly excited for another "first"--the holiday season as a family of five--I am also amidst sadness.  I find that I am missing my grandparents more than I ever have.  Selfishly, I wish they were here, physically, to be a part of what's going to be a joyous season.  Outside of our adoption, I can't think of a single, pivotal event, good or bad, that Grandpa Gilbert and Grandma Helen weren't here for.  They were a central piece in every celebration and sadness that I have ever gone through in life.  And here I am, almost 3 years after Grandma has passed away and 5 years since Grandpa left the world, and I am grieving for them all over again.  I know they are with us every single day, and I know that they live inside of all of my children and me. Recently, with Maria's elation and approval, we changed Maria's middle name to Helen, as a way to honor the great grandmother that she never had the honor to meet.  I hope that by the time I leave this world, I can give Maria a glimpse of what a phenomenal woman it is that's her namesake.   She has a big name to live up to, but one that I am confident that she will fulfill because Maria is a brave warrior who has gone through so much in life, has overcome so many obstacles and continues to greet each day with a smile and goodness, just as Grandma Helen did.  I pray for strength every day when I feel the sadness, and God listens to my prayers.  That's how I know and have always known that I will make it through the days ahead and enjoy them, just as I have enjoyed all that we've experienced so far.  I am so blessed that God chose this family for me!  After you see the smiles, personalities and sweetness of each of the photos below, you'll see why!  Also, think of us in five days when we will be celebrating 6 MONTHS  TOGETHER!!!  


First time in the leaves together


First time to the pumpkin patch






First time to carve a pumpkin . . .

make seeds. . .


but not the first time to be a goof ball while everyone else is doing all of the work!


First time to meet Great Grandma Hazel





First Halloween together with 
Nana Sharon, Papa Ronnie, Mimi, Papa Bill and Tio Todd


Our Colombian, Santa Fe soccer player


Our sweet bat

And the most beautiful gypsy you'll ever see


And I couldn't resist this one--THIS is the happiness and 
love that adoption can bring to an only child





7 comments:

Marilyn said...

Gosh, Traci you brought a tear to my eye---what joy you bring to me when I read all about your new family....life is such a blessing..live and love it my friend!!

Beth said...

Boy how I can relate to your post. My mom is always saying, "Oh my its the time for ..." (insert just about anything). All i can say is, isn't it amazing.

Genece said...

I will be thinking of you in a few days, as that date will also mark our family's "one year" together! Your posts always seem to express so many of the inspiring qualities of the pure joy adoption brings. I love watching the children (mine and everyone elses) as they experience so many nuances. Also, I feel so endeared to have this wonderful chaos in my life now, and I'm with you -- no complaints here! I don't blog about it enough but I feel exactly the same as you do about Luke, and I've found myself lately spending much quality time alone with Marissa. Even though they'd never seem needy, they deserve the assurance that they didn't get lost in the shuffle.

Jennifer said...

I love that you added Helen to her name. What a special way to honor such a special person in your life.
Nataly & I talked alot about "firsts" when she came here. She still says, "This is my first time to ___________". However, now it's usually not her first time! :-)
I love seeing your pictures so I tagged you on my blog! http://reawakeningofsorts.blogspot.com/
Jen

Dan and Karen said...

I've tried to keep track of the "firsts" for our boys, since we missed the typical "firsts". While the first visit to somewhere or first holiday may not be a big event for biological children, for adopted children it is something to celebrate.

THE CALDERARO'S said...

What cute pix of the kids. You should be sooo proud of Luke. He sounds like such a kind hearted, loving child. He was your first, that is a special bond. Parenting can seem to be a real juggling act at times. However, I am certain all your children know that they are adored.

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