Will it ever get easier?

You would think after sending Luke to school for four years now that I would be used to all that comes with the first day of school. But it seems in some ways it just gets harder. As always, last night, the evening before the first day of school, was a tough one. I don't know why I do this, but I get so heavy-hearted. I find myself poring back over the summer's events (and my wasn't this one eventful!) and how much Luke has grown. I reflect back on the things we did and the things that were left unaccomplished. And I seem to find myself wanting to freeze time, especially this year. He has matured so much over the past four months and he continues to amaze me every day. I'm so proud of the big brother that he has become--the way he loves his brother and sister. When I looked at his face last night as he was laying in bed, I couldn't help but cry. I am so grateful for his life, health, presence in my life. I hope to never find out what life is like without him. Although he is my oldest, now, I still see him as my baby and can remember the day he was born and placed in my arms. I think kids just show you how quickly life passes. I am enjoying motherhood more now than I ever have and I just hate that time keeps passing by so quickly. I know Matt thinks I am crazy. And he's right when he says, "Man, if you're crying about him going to 3rd grade, I can't wait to see you at this high school graduation!" And you see, that's why I cry. Because I know it will be here before I want it to be! This morning, however, I felt much better, as I always have in the past. To see his bright, shining face, so full of energy and excitement. How can you not be happy for him? The best part, of course, was seeing how excited Maria and Andres were to get their picture taken with him in his classroom. It was like Luke had rock-star quality. Yet another great day for a mom of three. God has truly blessed me!

IS HE REALLY GOING INTO 3RD GRADE? WOW!

MARIA AND ANDRES WERE SO PROUD OF HIM

THE FAMILY OF 5 CELEBRATING THE BIG DAY

ANOTHER YEAR AND OFF HE GOES

HAPPY TO BE AT SCHOOL

ONCE AGAIN, THE PROUD BROTHER AND SISTER
WHO DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE BIG BROTHER

The Power Above and Guardian Angels

Every day brings experiences where I realize how good life has been to me. However, there are certain days where I feel it even deeper and have a tremendous feeling of thanksgiving. Yesterday, we were having a great day--Luke, Maria, Andres and me. I consider a "good" day to be one in which the kids get along for the most part, and I rarely have to mediate. A "great" day is one in which there have been NO issues. Yes, they rarely happen--a "great" day that is. And when they do, I feel like I can conquer and accomplish anything! What's so ironic about this is that I started my day watching a lady on TV named Joyce Meyer. This is a woman who has been quite inspirational to my brother and I thought I would see what she was all about. Well, her premise of yesterday's show was "If you have not, you've asked not." Basically, she talked about how we shouldn't be afraid to pray for things even when we have been given so much. BUT when we pray and ask for things, we have to be able to handle the answer "no." Up until listening to Joyce Meyer speak, I have struggled with this. I have two wonderful parents, two fantastic step-parents, a brother who is living a happy life, a step-sister with a beautiful family, an awesome dog who is about to celebrate 15 years of life and of course an unbeatable husband (and in-laws!) and three fabulous kids. That's not to mention my happy upbringing and a number of experiences in life that I have been so blessed to be a part of, as well as an incredible group of friends, a beautiful house and most importantly, our health. It seems to me I'd be getting a little greedy to ask for more--things like getting Maria and Andres into a pre-school of our choice (they are both on waiting lists), help adjusting financially to our new additions, dealing with my feelings of wanting to be with the kids and already dreading going back to work in September, and yes, the need for a "great" day. Well, I decided to go ahead and try things out yesterday, and I said a prayer from the heart asking for help with those things mentioned above. Shortly thereafter, the kids were all out of bed and acting like best friends. They were playing beautifully, Andres was talking up a storm, Maria was inserting every English word she knew into her sentences, and Luke. . .what an awesome big brother!! He sat down with the two of them and played everything they wanted to play while teaching them more English words and helping both kids work on their pronunciations. Even after running errands in the HEAT (side note--Maria and Andres are having a hard time adjusting to the 90+ degree heat and have to say "hot" every time we walk outside) the kids were doing "great." As I watched Luke take Maria and Andres for their naps, all three of the kids were laughing and smiling. I realized at that point, that God had already listened. I immediately got my camera out to capture God at work. And here's what I saw:








I couldn't help but be euphoric most of the day. And I thought about the power of that prayer, and most importantly, the power of God to answer. I am mystified by how quickly things can happen (and I forgot to add that I also received a call from the pre-school of our choice to let us know they have an opening for Maria!!), but I am not afraid to admit that I think some guardian angels above are working for us, too. Yesterday, out of nowhere, Luke asked me about his Great Grandpa Gilbert and said, "Did I know him?" Part of my heart hurt when Luke asked this question. My Grandpa Gilbert was one of the most incredible human beings I have and will ever meet. And if I could ever pick two people that I could bring back to life just so that my kids could experience their tremendous goodness and love of God and life, it would be my Grandma Helen and Grandpa Gilbert. I miss them EVERY SINGLE DAY! To have Luke ask that question meant that he remembered nothing of Grandpa; therefor, it broke my heart. I explained that, yes, Luke knew him because Grandpa Gilbert didn't pass away until Luke was 2 1/2 years old. I also added that Grandpa Gilbert played with Luke all of the time, every chance he could get. Luke stared off into the sky for a while and replied, "I wish he could see me now." It brought tears to my eyes. All of a sudden, everything from the day just pulled together, and I simply said, "Oh he does. He sees you and watches over us every day." With that, a huge smile spread across Luke's face. Never underestimate the power of God and your guardian angels!