Falling into a new life

As we approached election day I found myself constantly thinking, "This is their first. . . " fill in the blank. It could be Andres and Maria's first time to go to the pumpkin patch, the first time all three kids played in the leaves together, the first time they went Trick or Treating. It was something different every week. (And I have more pictures than one can ever develop to prove it!)  Since I last wrote, not only have they experienced all of these "firsts" but more--the first time they met their great grandma from Iowa, the first time they experienced what they believe is COLD weather (boy are they in for a rude awakening!), the first time they experienced a presidential election. I'm overwhelmed by it and I'm sure they must be as well. But they are such troopers and have dealt with everything seamlessly with no issues. They exemplify a whole new, deeper meaning to resilience, and we love watching their personalities develop and mesh with Luke's. It's just a blast to be together.

I continue to realize how much life has changed for Luke and how well he is doing. Please forgive me, as I know I say it almost every blog, but I am so proud of him! I think it really hit me the other day when our morning surpassed hectic, and I hastily sent him off to school without a jacket on a 45 degree day! I was upset about it all day. When I was a mother of one, I NEVER would have done that! A mother of three, well, if I can remember where each kid needs to go on any given day, it is a miracle.  I'm not complaining. I love the chaos. But I can only imagine how much Luke misses when things were a little calmer and more organized. A time, when he was it and all energy was focused on him. There is no doubt in my mind that he does miss that one-on-one time. At the same time, he doesn't demand it. He has been so accepting and supportive throughout all of the changes. At times, he clearly dealt with it better than I did while we were in Colombia. I have also begun to experience a deepening relationship with him. I find that he is constantly watching out for me and checking to make sure that I am ok. He is developing into a wonderful young man of which I am so proud to call my son!

While I am incredibly excited for another "first"--the holiday season as a family of five--I am also amidst sadness.  I find that I am missing my grandparents more than I ever have.  Selfishly, I wish they were here, physically, to be a part of what's going to be a joyous season.  Outside of our adoption, I can't think of a single, pivotal event, good or bad, that Grandpa Gilbert and Grandma Helen weren't here for.  They were a central piece in every celebration and sadness that I have ever gone through in life.  And here I am, almost 3 years after Grandma has passed away and 5 years since Grandpa left the world, and I am grieving for them all over again.  I know they are with us every single day, and I know that they live inside of all of my children and me. Recently, with Maria's elation and approval, we changed Maria's middle name to Helen, as a way to honor the great grandmother that she never had the honor to meet.  I hope that by the time I leave this world, I can give Maria a glimpse of what a phenomenal woman it is that's her namesake.   She has a big name to live up to, but one that I am confident that she will fulfill because Maria is a brave warrior who has gone through so much in life, has overcome so many obstacles and continues to greet each day with a smile and goodness, just as Grandma Helen did.  I pray for strength every day when I feel the sadness, and God listens to my prayers.  That's how I know and have always known that I will make it through the days ahead and enjoy them, just as I have enjoyed all that we've experienced so far.  I am so blessed that God chose this family for me!  After you see the smiles, personalities and sweetness of each of the photos below, you'll see why!  Also, think of us in five days when we will be celebrating 6 MONTHS  TOGETHER!!!  

First time in the leaves together

First time to the pumpkin patch

First time to carve a pumpkin . . .

make seeds. . .

but not the first time to be a goof ball while everyone else is doing all of the work!

First time to meet Great Grandma Hazel

First Halloween together with 

Nana Sharon, Papa Ronnie, Mimi, Papa Bill and Tio Todd

Our Colombian, Santa Fe soccer player

Our sweet bat

And the most beautiful gypsy you'll ever see

And I couldn't resist this one--THIS is the happiness and 

love that adoption can bring to an only child

Time passes with little time to breathe

What a great past few months it has been. Luke is loving third grade, Maria and Andres can't get enough of pre-school, and I have finally gone back to work after being blessed with a long, but needed, leave. There have been so many changes in each of the kids. Luke seems to be so much older and is doing a great job at being the big brother. He is adored by Andres who asks where Luke is everyday. When Luke finally arrives home, you can tell Andres' day is at its best! Luke is so good with both of them. The way he plays, colors, draws, teaches English, wrestles, plays chase, etc. . . well it's just amazing. And he insists on reading their stories to them almost every night. It warms my heart to see how interactive he is. And if there were ever any doubts about whether or not adopting two more kids was the right thing to do (which there never has been), well, all I have to do is look at the three of them together to see that it was a true gift from God to bring us all together. It's also been a thrill to watch him play soccer and football this fall. With my declining KC Chiefs, Luke's games are now a highlight of every weekend.

Maria definitely loves to learn. I don't know that I have ever seen a child try to speak the English language as diligently as she does. She can now count to 10, draw circles (WOOHOO--HUGE accomplishments, believe me) and acknowledges that she is 4 and not "ocho" (8) like she insisted for months. Yes, my friends, it's the little things, right? She can't get enough of pre-school and wants to go every day. And she is also in dance. For whatever reason, the first few times she went, she cried when it was time to go into the studio. I was baffled by this as she had not cried when put into ANY new situation and she squealed with excitement the few weeks preceding her first class. I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine, but now, everything is fine, she has learned to do a turn and a scale (with much wobbliness). I'm sure there are other things but that's what we see after every dance class when we come home and get a "showing" of her dance skills. Outside of pre-school, I think her most favorite thing right now is soccer. She plays with other 4 year old girls. There is no skill and little understanding of the game but all of the girls do a great job of swarming around the ball in one big clump. So far, she has scored a goal in every game and two in the last one. As the proud parent, I must say that in those games, her goals are the only ones scored. As the humble parent, I must acknowledge that none of them have been a result of knowing to take the ball and dribble it down the field. Instead, she has just been in the right place and the right time. But who cares? It makes her so happy.

Both of the kids are getting speech help. Maria more for pronunciation, Andres due to lack of speaking. However, Andres has made incredible progress. He is now speaking two-word sentences that only I can understand but nevertheless they are two-word sentences. Pretty amazing accomplishments for the kid who only had about 3 words in his repertoire when we got him. He, too, adores pre-school. All of the teachers there constantly ask me if he is always so happy. Yep, that's our Andres. He also loves soccer and is amazing dribbling the ball. I watch him and can't believe is only two and can dribble with such speed and control. Maybe by the time he get to be 4, he will be the lone ranger who actually understands the game. : )

We've had some great family outings. We went to our local town fair where they tried a funnel cake for the first time and devoured it within a few minutes. They really got a kick out of a Japanese Steakhouse once they got past the loudness and fire. As yet another attempt to completely brainwash them (and keep them close to home when college time comes), I took them to a KU Jayhawk pep rally.  THEY WERE IN HEAVEN!  Every kind of Jayhawk imaginable--stickers, statues, blow ups, and of course Big and Baby Jay mascots.  They both got removable  Jayhawk tattoos on their arms that neither wanted to wash off.  It has been one of the best times I have had with them so far.  Just a GREAT night!  Also, we went to the KC Art Fair and just had a wonderful evening outdoors in the beautiful September weather. Maria and Andres got to meet another cousin who came in from Baltimore. It was fun to watch Maria and Kate interact since they are both four. The most amazing part was to see how they played with no problems even though the language barrier existed. It proves how resilient children are. We've also had fun introducing them to other new foods. Some of the favorites--powdered doughnuts, watermelon, chilled ice sticks, Chinese food. Some not-so-favorites--really just one, chili if it's "pica" (spicy/hot).

I can't believe in another week and a half that we will be celebrating five months of being together. I'm getting so anxious for Christmas. When I saw how much excitement putting a few Halloween items out caused, it made me daydream about the thrill of Christmas. I can't wait to see them open presents, meet Santa, etc. It will definitely be a Christmas to remember.

Finally, the first day of school!

Busting at the seems with excitement to go to "cool"

Not so excited that little brother will be at school for a few hours

Maria was SO proud of her first piece of artwork she brought home from school. You should've seen how much her face lit up when I put it on the refrigerator for all to see.

The muddiest football game of the year!

Andres' #1 pasttime

First soccer game

Big Day--Soccer!

All smiles at this point before heading into the dance studio

What is this crazy thing?

Pumpkin perfection

This is a kid who knows how to get INTO his powdered doughnuts

I just love this picture--he looks so much older now compared to when we got him!

Definite watermelon fans

This is piece #2. Pretty sure he loved it--check out the shirt . . .

. . . oh, and the mouth!

Perfect cousins

Fun at the park

Always the camera-hog ham

They adore each other--can you tell?

And yes, he's still a clown

Perfect indication of what we may have to contend with in the future.  The perfect flirt and lady killer!  But who wouldn't be attracted to a beautiful Jayhawk girl!!??

For Andres, the intrigue of my most favorite mythical bird has just begun. 

Does she look beautiful in red and blue or what!!??

Will it ever get easier?

You would think after sending Luke to school for four years now that I would be used to all that comes with the first day of school. But it seems in some ways it just gets harder. As always, last night, the evening before the first day of school, was a tough one. I don't know why I do this, but I get so heavy-hearted. I find myself poring back over the summer's events (and my wasn't this one eventful!) and how much Luke has grown. I reflect back on the things we did and the things that were left unaccomplished. And I seem to find myself wanting to freeze time, especially this year. He has matured so much over the past four months and he continues to amaze me every day. I'm so proud of the big brother that he has become--the way he loves his brother and sister. When I looked at his face last night as he was laying in bed, I couldn't help but cry. I am so grateful for his life, health, presence in my life. I hope to never find out what life is like without him. Although he is my oldest, now, I still see him as my baby and can remember the day he was born and placed in my arms. I think kids just show you how quickly life passes. I am enjoying motherhood more now than I ever have and I just hate that time keeps passing by so quickly. I know Matt thinks I am crazy. And he's right when he says, "Man, if you're crying about him going to 3rd grade, I can't wait to see you at this high school graduation!" And you see, that's why I cry. Because I know it will be here before I want it to be! This morning, however, I felt much better, as I always have in the past. To see his bright, shining face, so full of energy and excitement. How can you not be happy for him? The best part, of course, was seeing how excited Maria and Andres were to get their picture taken with him in his classroom. It was like Luke had rock-star quality. Yet another great day for a mom of three. God has truly blessed me!

IS HE REALLY GOING INTO 3RD GRADE? WOW!

MARIA AND ANDRES WERE SO PROUD OF HIM

THE FAMILY OF 5 CELEBRATING THE BIG DAY

ANOTHER YEAR AND OFF HE GOES

HAPPY TO BE AT SCHOOL

ONCE AGAIN, THE PROUD BROTHER AND SISTER
WHO DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE BIG BROTHER

The Power Above and Guardian Angels

Every day brings experiences where I realize how good life has been to me. However, there are certain days where I feel it even deeper and have a tremendous feeling of thanksgiving. Yesterday, we were having a great day--Luke, Maria, Andres and me. I consider a "good" day to be one in which the kids get along for the most part, and I rarely have to mediate. A "great" day is one in which there have been NO issues. Yes, they rarely happen--a "great" day that is. And when they do, I feel like I can conquer and accomplish anything! What's so ironic about this is that I started my day watching a lady on TV named Joyce Meyer. This is a woman who has been quite inspirational to my brother and I thought I would see what she was all about. Well, her premise of yesterday's show was "If you have not, you've asked not." Basically, she talked about how we shouldn't be afraid to pray for things even when we have been given so much. BUT when we pray and ask for things, we have to be able to handle the answer "no." Up until listening to Joyce Meyer speak, I have struggled with this. I have two wonderful parents, two fantastic step-parents, a brother who is living a happy life, a step-sister with a beautiful family, an awesome dog who is about to celebrate 15 years of life and of course an unbeatable husband (and in-laws!) and three fabulous kids. That's not to mention my happy upbringing and a number of experiences in life that I have been so blessed to be a part of, as well as an incredible group of friends, a beautiful house and most importantly, our health. It seems to me I'd be getting a little greedy to ask for more--things like getting Maria and Andres into a pre-school of our choice (they are both on waiting lists), help adjusting financially to our new additions, dealing with my feelings of wanting to be with the kids and already dreading going back to work in September, and yes, the need for a "great" day. Well, I decided to go ahead and try things out yesterday, and I said a prayer from the heart asking for help with those things mentioned above. Shortly thereafter, the kids were all out of bed and acting like best friends. They were playing beautifully, Andres was talking up a storm, Maria was inserting every English word she knew into her sentences, and Luke. . .what an awesome big brother!! He sat down with the two of them and played everything they wanted to play while teaching them more English words and helping both kids work on their pronunciations. Even after running errands in the HEAT (side note--Maria and Andres are having a hard time adjusting to the 90+ degree heat and have to say "hot" every time we walk outside) the kids were doing "great." As I watched Luke take Maria and Andres for their naps, all three of the kids were laughing and smiling. I realized at that point, that God had already listened. I immediately got my camera out to capture God at work. And here's what I saw:








I couldn't help but be euphoric most of the day. And I thought about the power of that prayer, and most importantly, the power of God to answer. I am mystified by how quickly things can happen (and I forgot to add that I also received a call from the pre-school of our choice to let us know they have an opening for Maria!!), but I am not afraid to admit that I think some guardian angels above are working for us, too. Yesterday, out of nowhere, Luke asked me about his Great Grandpa Gilbert and said, "Did I know him?" Part of my heart hurt when Luke asked this question. My Grandpa Gilbert was one of the most incredible human beings I have and will ever meet. And if I could ever pick two people that I could bring back to life just so that my kids could experience their tremendous goodness and love of God and life, it would be my Grandma Helen and Grandpa Gilbert. I miss them EVERY SINGLE DAY! To have Luke ask that question meant that he remembered nothing of Grandpa; therefor, it broke my heart. I explained that, yes, Luke knew him because Grandpa Gilbert didn't pass away until Luke was 2 1/2 years old. I also added that Grandpa Gilbert played with Luke all of the time, every chance he could get. Luke stared off into the sky for a while and replied, "I wish he could see me now." It brought tears to my eyes. All of a sudden, everything from the day just pulled together, and I simply said, "Oh he does. He sees you and watches over us every day." With that, a huge smile spread across Luke's face. Never underestimate the power of God and your guardian angels!